Still no signs of internet coming back at my house. Ah well. It gives me times to sleep and to clean up the house a bit. Life is getting rather boring though and it would be nice to talk to someone once in awhile.

My boss at work wants me to force a student to zip past 12 chapters of Algebra even though she still has trouble on the basics. I'm resisting and trying to make her understand that she just isn't ready for that yet. However, my boss won't listen to me. I'm holding my ground, but I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to get on my boss's nerves. I can only hold out for so long before I have to give in before I'm fired.

Will update more tomorrow.

-------------------------

EDIT: Success! The internet has been reconnected! Now I can reconnect with people again~

So I was going to talk about my emo-ness last night, but after seeing some of the comments on my journal lately, I'm feeling much better. Much better indeed~ 

Time to move onto the next task at hand.

So current situation:

- The house has no internet
- Not getting paid until two weeks later.
- I owe UCLA money before I can enroll in classes
- I owe my roommate money for rent for the last month I was there
- My dad is asking me for more money to help him out

As it stands, there's a distinct possibility that I can't make it to Y-con...

 

However, all is not bleak. Whether or not I go depends entirely upon how much I want to go and honestly, I really *do* want to go. So time to micro-manage every single detail of my finances to be able to last the summer and save up enough for the trip up there as well as hotel rooms etc.

Here's hoping for a successful outcome~

The internet got disconnected at home, so I'm using the work computer. Just letting everyone know that I'll be out for awhile. Time to head out for class now. Later~

More events and anecdotes from this year's AX~

----------------------------------------------

My friend and I were waiting to get autographs from two men, the director and the key animator of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. I was cosplaying as one of their characters, Simon, in one of their AU works, the Gurren Lagann Parallel Works. My friend was ahead of me and getting his stuff signed first, but they were totally not paying attention to him. They were actually looking at me and saying that my cosplay was awesome. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand Japanese, but here's how it went.

"Ooo, it's Simon from the Parallel Works! Sugoi..."

"Didn't some girl do this cosplay before?"

"Yeah, but this guy is better!"

When it was my turn, I handed them the UCLA Anime Club business card in polite Japanese fashion which seemed to impress them a lot. I unfurled the wall scroll for them to sign and they were surprised to see Shoko-tan's autograph, Shoko-tan being the person who sang the opening to their anime. Not to be outdone, they put away the old black marker and took out the nice gold gel pens to sign. They asked for a picture of me, so I took my flag and my sword and posed epically for them which also made them ooh and aah with deight.

Again, I reiterate. MY  COSPLAY WAS COMPLEMENTED BY THE DIRECTOR AND CHARACTER DESIGNER OF GURREN LAGANN! <33333

Too bad that that poster wasn't actually mine. But at least I got that AMAZING experience~

------------------------------------------------------

I also got an autograph from Jun Kouga, mangaka of Loveless. She also complemented my Ritsuka cosplay even though it didn't exactly come from any of her art books. Either way, my DVD Boxset of Loveless is very happy~ <33

------------------------------------------------------

The actual Gurren Lagann gathering was amazing. Along with my lovely Nia, we were the only Parallel Works cosplay there. Of course, the giant mecha cosplay of Gurren Lagann stole the show, but I think we had enough epicness to last us the entire day~

------------------------------------------------------

Sorry if I've been AWOL, but the shock of diving back into real life is tiring. I'll try to be online later tonight.

AX this year was a blast~ I absolutely loved it. I had so much fun this year despite all my worries. Part of it was being part of the UCLA Anime Club. There was always something to do and as long as I surrounded myself with amazing people, I knew that I was in for a good time. I have plenty to write about, but I'm going to try and separate my thoughts into different "episodes" based on the con.

------------------------------------

When I went to get my 4-Day pass for the convention, I asked someone whether that path led to the At-Con Registration. He looked at me then pulled me to the sides and asked me whether or not I knew that I would be paying $70 for the tickets. I replied yes. He told me that his friend couldn't make the con and that he had an extra ticket that he was willing to sell me for $50. He showed me the ticket and it looked legitimate, so I accepted his offer. He took me to an ATM where I withdrew money and we exchanged goods. It did feel a little shady, but in the end, I got a cheap useable ticket. From then on, my name was Nicholas Lee.

-------------------------------------

AX has a new policy where only people with wristbands would be able to use the hotel buses to go to and from the convention center to the hotels. Only a limited number are distributed to people who book hotels under the new AX system. Unfortunately, the hotel only gave us three bands and I was the fourth person in the hotel room. Luckily, as we were walking down the hall at the con, my friend spots a strip of red. It turns out that it was a wristband that someone had dropped. Without a name or ID, it would be hard to track the person down, so we ended up keeping it, thus enabling me to ride the bus without worry.

---------------------------------------

Remember when I went to the ATM? Well, apparently I forgot to take my ATM card out of the machine. I was going to pay for my meal except I couldn't find my card. Fortunately, no charges were accessed on my account and I got a replacement card from the nearest Bank of America. The walk over there though was a pain in the ass.

---------------------------------------

Marie won third place in the Karaoke Contest~ She did an amazing job there and I thought that she could have at least made it to the second or even first. Congrats anyway to dear Ma-chan ♥

---------------------------------------

To be continued.

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Low

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

Okay, so AX isn't going to be the perfect get-together that I thought it would be. As it stands, I think I'm going to be spending time mainly with the UCLA Anime Club. No one seems to want to discuss day-to-day plans with me. So I'll have to settle for wandering the hallways and meeting up with people. Which I wouldn't mind.

Here's hoping that my plans today work out. Otherwise, I would have exhausted all my options to fund this AX.

EDIT: ...Wow. I didn't even so much as say a word when my boss asked if I wanted a pay advance to fund my upcoming vacation. She's...wow. More thoughts on this later. Right now, I need to go plan some lessons for her~ ♥

Around noon, I woke up and went to the bathroom. To my surprise, I was frightfully pale and my color was completely off. As a whole, I looked like a horrible mess. I haven't looked and felt this bad in ages. Luckily, things are better, but I still have this haze that's clouding my mine that persisted throughout the day.

Somehow, I think it has to do with what I've been eating now that I'm home for the summer. However, my little brother and sister are okay, so I think the problem is just me. I should be able to adjust soon. Hopefully.

There seems to be a lot happening that I'm not aware of. Of course, now that I've fixed myself and feeling a lot more stable, I can have infinite patience with everything.

But... it's not myself that I'm concerned about. I'm not sure if I can keep the others waiting.

I'll hold out as long as I can. But if we delay our conversation for too long, then it might be too late to make any other plans...

------------------------

The wigs came in today. The viral wig looks like something that could be easily modified.

Nia's hair...well, I'm still working on that. I'll be done. Somehow...

------------------------

A moment to honor the late Michael Jackson. My dad and I used to love listening to his music together. He'll always hold a special place in my childhood~

May you rest in peace.

-------------------------

OKAY TIME OUT!

My life had been going at a very slow pace until recently and now I'm finding myself making the same exact mistakes as I did in the past. So, I'm going to take it upon myself to figure out exactly how and why I get myself into these messes. So let's start from the top, shall we?

I get carried away in my emotions

When I feel strongly for something, I typically make some very stupid decisions because I let my heart guide me rather than my brain. This has been one of the deepest problems that I've had, manifesting itself sometime around senior year of high school.

When I'm being emotional, I tend to clam myself up

Being emotional means that my mind doesn't seem to process things as I normally would. Which means that rather than talk back, I tend to close myself up as I absorb everything that's being said. It's only later when I completely process everything and start to form exactly what I feel about everything. I'm not sure how this and the previous flaw can be helped other than to put a limiter on my emotions...which is hard enough as it is.

I try to please everyone and end up making bigger mistakes

This has happened....two times before in epic proportions. What started out as an innocent situation turned into a huge quagmire that gave me headaches for weeks. I'm beginning to see it happen here as well. As much as I would like to say that I only had good intentions, the chaos that ensues is significant enough for me to take a look back at what had happened, especially if it happens two times before.

---------------

I know that there are others, but for now, these three are going to be up on high priority. For now, I'm trying to do damage control to put out fires before they get any worse.

I know it's my fault that these problems happen. Perhaps I simply attract this kind of drama. But honestly, I hate being the center of these messes. I'd rather not start anything at all. So I'll try my best to keep these things from happening again.

Here's hoping for the best...

Last night, I couldn't sleep at all and ended up having strange half-conscious dreams.

Two of them involved my current situation: one of them a good ending and one of them a bad ending.

Another involved me checking my Myspace, Livejournal, Facebook, Email...anything for news on said situation.

I managed to get through this night. Let's see if I can last another.

I am not as confident as I sometimes think I am. There is much for me to learn and much for me to experience.

One day, I'll be able to help someone not simply because I'm relying on my natural intuition and feelings, but because I myself simply know more than the person I am trying to help.

I am but a child, but one day, I will become a man, proud and master of my life. One day, I will be able to speak and live without fear or doubt.

This is my resolution.

Sorry for the double post, but I might as well try this~ Go ahead and make your guesses!

1) Post a list of up to 20 books/movies/anime/TV shows/video games/etc. that you've had an obsessive fannish love or interest in at some time in your life.
2) Have your f-list guess your favorite character from each item.


1) Guilty Gear - Bridget
2) Star Ocean (series) - Albel Nox
3) Street Fighter (series) - Vega
4) Tengan Toppa Gurren Lagann - Viral
5) Hajime no Ippo
6) Darker than Black - Hei / Li Shensung
7) Nodame Cantabile
8) Fruits Basket
9) Final Fantasy X
10) Teen Titans (TV series) - Raven
11) Loveless- Ritsuka
12) Paper Mario (series)
13) Moyashimon
14) Detroit Metal City
15) Fire Emblem 8
16) Wall-E - EVE
17) Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia
18) Ace Attorney (series) - Trucy
19) Pokemon
20) Advance Wars: Days of Ruin

I managed to eek by a decent final today, though now I feel completely sore and exhausted.

I'll be sleeping in for the rest of the day to recover and then study a bit for my next test tomorrow.

Hope everyone's having a great day~ ♥

As an empath, I've learned to deal with sharing the emotional clouds of those around me. I know what my own feelings are and what others are projecting onto me. However, lately, my own sense of identity has been...rather weak. I'm all about enjoying the moment, making the most out of the limited time we have on Earth. But... it seems like my voice is being drowned out by the cries of everyone around me. Sorrow, loss, frustration, irritation...Everyone has their own troubles no matter how big or small. Everyone seems to need help.

And sadly, no matter how much I try, I can't help them all. Even if I tried, it would close off avenues of help towards others and perhaps end up agitating other situations more. Or perhaps I'm simply not able to help because of other factors. Maybe I'm not the right person for the job. Or maybe I am not needed. I might not be able to help those that I care for the most. This conclusion has dampened my spirits and has caused my days to become less colorful and more grey.

I don't need a lecture about how I can't do everything, how I can't please everyone, or how I'm being too kind. This isn't the first time that I've come to this realization. I know that there is only so much that a boy can do. But let's face it. I'm completely emotional. I can be logical, yes, but that's not really me. At my core, I'm an affectionate, loving bunny who would be the first to rush to someone's aid. It would be impossible for me to never worry, to never want to be there for everyone. How I wish I could gain teleportation or perhaps even Shadow clones to do everything at once...

Eventually I will get over my sense of helplessness in my situation. I always have whenever this feeling comes up. But after writing this journal entry, I think I feel better already.

I had a tarot card reading done to me from someone very close to me, Sarah. It has got me thinking and has me being all pensive. My reading sent chills up my spine and I can't help but look inward as to what I'm trying to accomplish. Suddenly, things have gotten...strange. Too much for my own comfort.

---------------------------------

( My Reading )

----------------------

Superstition perhaps. But I've always been one for such mysticism...

Going out with some friends later tonight to see the new Pixar movie, UP. Will be back a little later. Just giving people a heads up~

Tired.

Wanted to let everyone know that I made it back in one piece.

Will update later.

Oh how fun~ My top 5 makes sense actually.

Your results:
You are Deanna Troi

Deanna Troi 75% Spock 72% Beverly Crusher 70% Chekov 65% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 60% Uhura 55% Will Riker 55% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 55% James T. Kirk (Captain) 50% Mr. Sulu 50% Data 49% Mr. Scott 45% Geordi LaForge 40% Jean-Luc Picard 35% Worf 35%

You are a caring and loving individual. You understand people's emotions and you are able to comfort and counsel them.

Click here to take the "Which Star Trek character am I?" quiz...